Chronic Illness & Grief

The biggest thing that comes up in my chronic illness coaching sessions is this idea that becoming disabled is the dead-end for all goals and dreams.

Some people don’t consciously realize they have this belief, but it becomes evident when they continue to push themselves past what their new physical limitations will allow.

They end up in a cycle of trying and failing and self hate and false hope and trying again.

You can’t keep living the same life as before. 

Imagine your life is laid out like The Sims:

All your human needs are displayed with the level at which you currently need them. The speed is set to normal.

But WHAT?!?!

Out of seemingly nowhere your Sim energy levels drop dramatically and you’re having trouble accomplishing any Sim task. 

You lose your Sim job and your Sim family doesn’t understand you. 

You can barely eat your Sim food because of the effort it takes to make it. 

You can’t keep your Sim house clean. 

You can’t even keep your Sim self clean.

If you keep playing the game without making any changes, you’re headed for total Sim destruction.

You need to adapt!

You need to turn the Sim speed way down, and play at 0.5x or even 0.25x.

You need to find ways to raise your Sim energy levels and start taking care of your Sim self again.

(Ok Sim metaphor is over)

In my coaching sessions we work on properly grieving life as you knew it (pre-disability), because while your life is not ending, it is changing in immeasurable ways.

Only once you’re out of denial, have felt your anger, have lost your bargains and survived your depression can you begin to move forward again.

We start to come up with new achievable goals with your physical limitations in mind. 

I dedicated my whole life to the goal of becoming a professional performer. I thought accepting my diagnoses meant accepting a life without acting and singing and dancing, and I simply couldn’t fathom it. Instead, accepting my diagnoses led to better self care and self love, better medical treatments, better symptom management, and a higher quality of life. Those overall improvements helped me to have a clear and unbiased (enough) mind to recognize my limitations while still honoring my abilities.

I’m figuring out what is possible for me and pursuing it.

If you need help figuring out how to move on from the stages of grief, you always have the option to message me about a coaching session 🤎